Peanut Butter is the New Ranch

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a ranch dressing fiend fanatic.  I like to consider myself a ranch connoisseur (yeah, I had to spell check that, so what?).  I don't keep it in the house.  Bottled ranch is gross, for one.  If the bottled stuff was as good as say the stuff at Red Robin or Round Table, I would be in deep, deep trouble.  My friends joke that if I ever get pregnant, I will have an IV ranch drip and a rolling IV hanger with me at all times.  Shit, why wait for pregnancy, amiright?  Hook.Me.Up.

(A pic my bro drew of my prego SIL with a ranch IV)

But seriously, I eat certain foods solely because they are a vehicle for ranch dressing.  Okay, I'm not saying that pizza and french fries and fresh veggies aren't delicious all by themselves, but I wouldn't eat them nearly as much if they didn't make the perfect dipping items for ranch.  It's quite ridiculous to hear me order lunch at BJ's Brewery.

"Yeah, I'll have the turkey club with ranch instead of blue cheese, with fries and the house salad with ranch, and a side of ranch.  K thanks."

So, about 6 months ago we started frequenting the local Cold Stone ice cream shop.  For some reason the chocolate ice cream with a scoop of peanut butter and a brownie mixed in sounded so delicious.  Big mistake.  Huge.  It was soooooooooo NOM!  Hence the frequenting that ensued.  It got pretty bad.  But then I noticed that I was way more into peanut butter than ever before.  I really look forward to my breakfast each morning; slice of wheat toast with a bit of honey and peanut butter with sliced banana on it.  The people at work comment on my kindergarten breakfast.  Whatever.  It's delicious AND nutritious.  Bite me.

But then....

Peanut butter was working it's way into other meals of the day.  Snack time was celery with PB or apples with PB or bananas with PB, dessert (instead of the ice cream) was a dab of PB on a semi sweet chocolate chip...or ten.  If I get ice cream at all anymore it has to consist of chocolate and peanut butter.  And now I am turning into a peanut butter snob!  All I eat on the regular is this:

It makes me feel less terrible about eating so much peanut butter.  Because, you know, it's smart.  And better for you because it has Omega 3s and less sugar.  I just tell myself that since the fats are good fats, it's okay.  Sadly, there are no good fats in ranch.  But then the little single servings of ice cream were on sale at the store for $1 and they had reese's PB cup in vanilla with a PB ribbon.  Not good peanut butter.  Such a shame, but good because then I didn't want to eat a ton of it.

That's my random Tuesday rant.  I have been thinking about writing this blog for like, a week.  Because telling you all that peanut butter is the new ranch is so important and all...