The Double-Edged Sword That Is Spring

Who doesn't love Spring?  Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, love is in the air, and summer is just over the horizon.  Back when Myspace existed and everyone used to fill out those worthless, time-killing surveys and one of the questions was "What's your favorite season?"  my answer would always be Spring.  And I meant it.  I mean it.  Where I live Spring is basically a blink in the seasons.  We usually go from Winter to Summer, so I have learned to cherish Spring and all its glory.

But then...

Spring means allergies (thanks Zyrtec, Claritin - you suck).  It also means that the weather is often bi-polar (not to be confused with bi-winning) and you usually have to wear layers to keep you warm in the morning that you can then peel off after lunch when it's 65+ degrees outside.  And with those blooming flowers comes these:

and these:

And aside from the flying crazies, there are these:

I seriously just started sweating and experiencing elevated heart rates googling pictures of spiders/jumping spiders.  NIGHTMARE!!!  And....now I have a headache.  Damn you, adrenaline.

I have a really entertaining story about one of those bastard jumping spiders being in my car once.  It's not the same when it's not animated in person, but let's just summarize by saying I was more than willing to leave my car on the side of the freeway (since I made my BF at the time come out to me to help me find and kill it to no avail).  Not to mention I nearly wrecked my car by trying to get as far away from it as possible and it was right above/in front of my head/face while I was driving.  I seriously stuffed the place between the top of my car and the windshield with tissue, since this is where it emerged from on both sides of the car, wore gloves while I was driving around for the next few weeks, and then kept them handy in the car in case I needed to kill the thing with my bare hands.  Ugh.

And don't even get me started on the wasps. 

I lived in this awesome apartment complex about 5 years ago.  I had the greatest roommate situation, since she was a flight attendant and not home much, and then fun to hang with when she was home.  We had dual master suites and an awesome, big, covered patio.  Everything was picturesque when we moved in in October.  Then Spring came around and we found out that the place was infested with paper wasps due to the empty fields and lots that surrounded the complex. 

When I say infested, I shit you not, my friends.

I'm talking hundreds, if not thousands, flying through the air from sun up to sun down.  Since we lived on the second floor, I had to get to the stairs, up the stairs, unlock the door and get in the house.  By the time I locked the door behind me, I was shaking.  There were a few times I sat in my car for a good 30 minutes before I could work up the nerve to attempt getting out of my car.  I was paralyzed with fear.  The management had people come out and knock down the nests and spray, but there was no residual effect from the spray, so it had to be contact kill or nothing.  It sucked so bad.  I started leaving the house before the sun came up and doing what I could to avoid coming home before sunset.  I definitely had a few panic attacks during the Spring/Summer months there.

I'm sure it was quite comical to someone who happened to catch me trying to leave or enter my house.  I thought I would minimize my chances of getting bitten (because wasps don't sting like bees and die, they just bite repeatedly) by covering myself from head to toe.  100 degrees outside and I have pants and a hoodie on to get to/from my car.  So ridiculous.  Not to mention I would squeal or scream anytime I heard one of them buzz my ear or fly directly in front of my line of sight.

After we found out from management that they were in fact paper wasps, I read up on how to get rid of them or keep them at bay.  Supposedly they are very passive unless you attack their nests, which happened to line the eves of our building.  No big deal.  I also found out that they only respond to certain hormones as far as drawing them in or keeping them at bay, so any traps we used had to contain the right stuff for paper wasps.  We found that the wasp spray from Home Depot with the 40ft stream worked well and would not open the door unless we were armed with a can.  It also had some risidual effect so it kept them at bay for a few days at a time.  We couldn't use our awesome back patio for summer BBQs either because we would be swarmed.  So lame.

So, yeah.  About Spring...

It's basically the season of Breezy vs. Nature.  Breezy wins, my friends.  Breezy wins.